"Change In My Condition"

Haven't checked in with you in a while, whoever you are that read this, which i'm pretty sure is no one, but it's still a good outlet for me. I started off writing about my personal experiences and what i was going through. Since then I've kinda entered into a world of me just writing what's weighing down on my mind. I think a good balance of those two aspects will be what keeps this blog interesting. In giving you that little prologue, I'm warning you right now that this post could be all over the place, which is basically the way my heart and brains are feeling these days. The interesting thing, is that it's a good thing I'm feeling that way, because for a while now I had but one mood, and that was dark. I can't explain what it was but everything irritated me, and worse than that, everyONE (you know if you're in that group) irritated me. It didn't matter who you were, friend or foe, I was picking a fight with you and wanted to go for your throat. Only people I wasn't doing that with was my family, because they were the only ones I was getting joy from, but even they had to know that the Brian they were encountering was not their normal "bri-guy" who makes them laugh constantly. The good news...I've changed. I've finally turned that corner where I want things to get better, and that is the first step. For a while during that dark time, I didn't want things to change. I wanted to make people mad and miserable, because that's how I was feeling. Don't know if it was that other people around me were getting jobs and better internships, when clearly I believe myself to be just as qualified. Or that it was that they new where they were headed and I didn't. I was starting to fault my own uncertainties on their successes.

I think one thing that helped me to turn the corner was a simple act of random kindness. I was going through a dark time where I was only caring about myself, then on a Friday night, something changed. I came home on my lunch break to grab some clothes and noticed in the car next to where I parked, there was a girl. The girl was sitting with her door open. I had never seen her before, let alone met her. She was on her phone, and she was crying. It wasn't a simple cry over a boy or relationship, it was a big tear drop, something was really wrong kinda cry. I shut the door to my car, looked up at her and said, "Are you ok?" Simple question. Simple act. Completely harmless, Right?

Let me tell you something about myself. I love people. Being a communications major, the main thing I studied in college, with the help of a professor who cared for this also, was the way people are. I love to see how we interact and relate to one another, especially strangers. I want to care about others that I don't know and just reflect Jesus' love to them through me. I want to show that it doesn't matter that I don't know them, but they could talk to me if they needed to. Today, I gave a stranger a quarter who was 17 cents short at the gas station today, who cares right? A simple act of kindness, it should spread so far....

Well the girl in the car, she shook her head yes, and I said, "ok just checkin," and walked on. That was that. Apparently she was roommates with one of the girls I work with, and word had gotten out that some stranger (who was quite cute, I might add...her words not mine) had asked if she was ok. Well people at work were trying to figure out which guy it was, and it came back to me. I said, "yea of course it was me." I had no fear about the situation. However, people found it weird and even a little bit creepy. Weird? Creepy? Really?

That's the problem I have with our society and the world we live in. People say "lend a helping hand" or "treat others the way you would want to be treated," but when push comes to shove, do they mean it. All I did was make sure someone I didn't know was ok and not in immediate trouble. I realize I'm ranting now, but it's so simple. Love one another. Care for each other, regardless of the situation. If someone needs love, show it. The world could reflect God's love if those who study it actually put it into effect. Don't be afraid to show others your vulnerable side, it just might be the thing to save a life!

I loved that movie "Pay It Forward".......

"Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it."